Revamped Organization in New York

In a shocking deal announced just minutes ago, the New York Rangers have been sold to "Mouldsie" for $250,000,000. His new direction was immediately implemented as GM Glen Sather was replaced with Marv Levy. This situation is confusing but apparently Mouldsie wants The Marv to instill in his men a sense of character and determination. Also announced was the firing of Tom Renney as coach, he will be replaced by Scotty Bowman who has been drawn out of retirement with a lucrative contract offer. Press conference is scheduled for 8pm eastern tonight.

upon being asked about the addition of octenegerian and former bills mediocre gm, Paul Holmgren, former Philadelhia tough guy and now GM laughed and said, "we welcome an esteemed football mind like mr. Levy to the nhl and can only hope he runs the rangers like he ran the Bills."

Sources close to us say that previous reports were not entirely accurate. It appears Sather will remain on as GM while Levy will serve as "Organization Advisor/Motivational Speaker/Figurehead" to the team.